Burst your ball

Hate to burst your ball...

“Everybody up against the wall!” Growled one of the ski masked wearing men who was currently brandishing the traditional Russian assault rifle which befitted his task as bank robber.

The patrons of the establishment and for that matter the employees (including the trio of rather aged security guards) cowered with their backs pressed to the far wall of the bank while the man’s three associates went about the process of emptying the various cash registers into the preferred blank sacks for transporting stolen goods. Even as they worked however the bank manager glared at the men.

“Do you realize how foolish this is? There is simply no way you’re going to be making enough money to justify the risk!” The lead bank robber proceeded to walk towards the female bank manager raising up his weapon as if he was going to slam its butt into her face.

“Yeah right. Once we get that bank open, well be able to steal enough money to live out the rest of our lives like kings!” The bank manager shook her head slowly even as she made sure the rest of her body stayed one hundred percent perfectly still.

“Well I’d almost wish you luck when it comes to that task, because you’re going to need it. That vault is on a time release lock so that I couldn’t open it for you even if I wanted to. Not only that, it’s also made of the hardest steel imaginable. You’d need an ICBM to blast through it!” The man’s lips, one of the only two parts of his face that were visible (the other was his eyes), could be seen breaking into a smirk from underneath his mask.

“Are you so sure about that? Because if you ask me, the only thing that we’re going to need to get through it is the dandy little device that my friends are carting in right now!” A moment later two more bank robbers dressed in the same manner as the others were entering into the bank. They were pushing along a wheeled device that looked like something out of a science fiction movie and a not particularly well funded one at that.

“This thing is a super powerful magnet, and even better it’s designed so as to direct its magnetic energies into a narrow cone. Thus, we can turn it on in here without needing to worry about having ceramic guns. Of course the downside is that it won’t suck the spare change right at out of your pockets, but who cares about a couple nickels and dimes when we’re about to get our hands on all a couple cool million in jewelry, bonds, and non sequential bills? All right boys, start it up!”

The bandits got to work producing various power tools from pouches that they were weraing and used them to lock the wheeled device in place.  Then one of the men pointed the device squarely at the vault and then pulled a lever along its chassis. It very slowly hummed to life. At first nothing seemed to be happening. Seconds of stunned silence later, the sound of metal hinges twisting in upon themselves started to fill the room. Slowly, inch by inch. the bank’s vault began to give way as it shifted towards the super magnet.

After about another full two minutes of letting the magnet work its magic the vault’s door had been twisted and contorted badly enough that there was a now a gap large enough for a pair of men to walk through while holding hands. The robber who was manning the device proceeded to turn it off, and rub his hands together.

“The thing works just like you said it would, Boss! Now we’ve just got to load the loot up and get out of here!” Before anyone could voice a reply, however, a sudden sound carried into the bank from the surrounding street. It could best be described as a combination of “WHUMP”, “CRSSSHHHHH” and “SMASH” filling the air all at once. A different robber proceeded to carefully examine a watch that had been sown into his left glove.

“What the hell was that? There’s no way that the police could have gotten here so soon, especially since we took all these fools by surprise before they could sound the alarm!” A moment later however they got their answer as the bank’s glass double doors were shattered as a figure came careening in through them. She seemed to be a girl in her late teens, or possibly even twenty years old, but no one who laid eyes upon her would spend much time trying to figure out her age.

Nor was the first thing that any normal person who laid eyes upon this woman would notice would be her breasts, as strange as that might sound given how developed they were. The bosom in question was in fact larger than any conventional cup size could measure with each breast being about the size of a volleyball.

But even that was as next to nothing compared to her belly. It simply could not be compared to any “naturally” occurring sporting sphere, being larger than a beach ball. In fact it had to be about the same volume as two or three fully inflated beach balls would have taken up. This belly was made all the more striking by the fact that the aside from her belly and breasts the rest of the woman’s body was perfectly proportioned for your average woman on the street, making them seem stick thin by comparison.

Her face was also well crafted and completely lacking any sort of jowls or double chin. This suggested that somehow all the weight in the woman’s body had been centered around her middle and grown outwards rather than being evenly spread all over. Her improbable appearance was compounded by her outfit, a full body dark grey costume which happened to have a small patch of black and the letters “WBG” written across it located between her breasts.

She wore a pair of black armbands with small spikes and a green visor across her face while her cherry blond hair was done up in a pair of cute pigtails. Striking a dramatic pose which should have in all likelihood caused her to tip over like a two legged cow, the woman thrust a finger towards the robbers.

“That was the sound of me smashing your getaway vehicle. At least I hope it was your getaway vehicle. There was only one large van parked nearby. If it wasn’t yours... oh man, are the owners gonna be pissed...” This was followed by about five seconds on incoherent mumbling followed by a slight blush creeping into her face.

Then the woman apparently realized that this introduction combined with her appearance was making her seem absurd to completely comedic levels and resumed speaking in a loud authoritative voice.

“Anyway. Give up now, or face the wrath of the bouncing ball of justice, Tammy Williams, also known as Wrecking Ball Girl!” One of the bank robbers who had stood mute throughout this unorthodox entrance suddenly spoke up.

“Should you really have ‘ball’ in both your description of yourself and your superheroine name?” Wrecking Ball Girl retracted the accusing finger and now used it to stroke her chin.

“You know that’s a good point...” Instantly she slid back into her previous stance like a duelist on the field of honor. “Okay then, prepare to face the wrath of the smiting sphere of sanction, Tammy Williams, also known as Wrecking Ball Girl!” Another robber who was evidently somewhere between amused, frightened, and enraged spoke up.

“Also what kind of superheroine gives away her real name in her introduction? Don’t you have parents, friends, or a sweetheart you’re worried about getting attacked, Kid?” A blush came to Wrecking Ball Girl’s face as she stormed forward. A few cracks seemed to form in the bank’s floor as she did so before running her hands over her belly, or at least as much of it as she could reach.

“Well it’s not like I’ve got a choice in the matter. Do you think any of you could hold down an actual secret identity while lugging this thing around twenty four seven?” She patted her belly which seemed to be surprisingly solid. A third robber suddenly became much more interested in examining the superheroine’s stomach than aiming his gun at it.

“Holy crap! That thing is seriously a permanent part of your body?” Wrecking Ball Girl nodded slowly another blush starting to work its way through her face.

“Yeah. You think it’s hard being the fat kid growing up? Well imagine what it’s like to be the kid whose body thinks it has more or less a constant iron deficiency and a rapid metabolism. If that doesn’t sound so bad, imagine what happens when instead of just passing through your body the iron starts to build up and up and up, and out and out. The end result is what you see before you.” The leader of the bank robbers had heard quite enough of this pathetic back and forth as he carefully looked down his guns sights (not that he was aiming at an especially small target) and let loose with a three round burst right at the superheroine’s belly button. Wrecking Ball Girl’s belly didn’t even wobble as she took another confident step forward.

“Granted, there are some upsides to it, of course. You see all that iron normally should have poisoned me if it had just stuck around in my bloodstream, but instead it ended up interlacing itself with my muscle, bones, skin, the whole nine yards really.”

“EVERYBODY, SHOOT HER,” cried the leader of the robbers who proceeded to empty the rest of his ammunition into the grey clad superheroine along with all of his followers. For Wrecking Ball Girl the sensation of having one hundred and seventy seven bullets fired at her was the equivalent to what most people would feel if they were walking through a sandstorm.

The emerald visor that she was wearing happened to be made of the latest military grade antiballistic fabrics that she’d been given as a result of helping save city hall, even if she’d ended up adding a few new holes to it in the process. Thus when by pure chance one of the bullets might have actually done some damage to her by going into her right eye, it instead bounced harmlessly off of her visor.rest of the bullets left a peppering of holes in the surface of her uniform, though the girl herself only felt like she’d just been stung by bees. Dozens of slugs ricocheted off her or fell flatly to the ground, warped by the impact.

In fact, the shock of the impacts was such that she ended up falling over. Granted, Wrecking Ball Girl’s backside was every bit as pumped up as her bosom. So while she had a comfortable landing, she left a noticeable dent in the floor.

“I’ll admit that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, though. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to keep myself below four tons. But I’m a proud seven thousand, nine hundred and twelve, at least I was last time I found a scale strong enough to measure me. Anyway, you know how they say that muscle is heavier than fat? Well guess what? You just had to go and piss off a girl whose skin is about as tough as tank armor. Now then, do you guys want to surrender here and now, or do I have to start taking you down one titanic belly flop at a time?”

Five of the villains dropped their guns and raised their hands pathetically. But their leader would not be so easily subdued, instead he tossed his gun aside and turned around and ran. Wrecking Ball Girl who knew that the remaining robber had nowhere to run but into the vault (which by default was the kind of place with only one way out of or into) she smiled and began to start half running, half waddling forward.

“There’s always one of you guys who just doesn’t get it isn’t there? All right then, well don’t say I didn’t warn you when you have to show up at your arraignment in a full body cast!” Then she jumped into the air and came down bouncing forward. Except that the lead robber wasn’t running into the vault, instead he ran up to the super magnet that they had used to breach the vault in the first place.

He spun it around in the direction of the fast approaching superheroine, and activated it. The super magnet snatched Wrecking Ball Girl right out of midbounce and she was yanked toward the thing like, well like, her body contained a few tons of iron and it was an ultra powerful magnet.

The impact of her body against it caused the thing to roll backward a few feet and bump up against the edge of the vault (the leader had made sure to leap off to the side almost the very moment that he’d activated it) but sadly didn’t break it. Wrecking Ball Girl’s arms and legs proceeded to wave up and down rather pathetically unable to reach anything nearby as she tried to break free. All at once the superheroine’s boisterous personality gave way to a stream of pathetic whines.

“Oh come on! This is totally not fair. Let me go!” The various henchmen who had been all too ready to give up the up in the face of the seemingly unstoppable juggernaut now suddenly seemed to remember why they had entered the bank in the first place. They began to pick up their weapons and reload them with various degrees of grace and shame.

“Fair?” The leader rose to his feet ignoring his weapon in favor of approaching the trapped superheroine. “You know what I consider ‘fair,’ Girly? When you shoot someone, they don’t just fall down, they stay down!” There was a very distinct “click” as one of the man’s henchmen chambered the first round of a new clip.

“So what exactly are we going to do with her, Boss? We’ve already found out that it’s gonna take more than bullets to finish her off. I mean, we could just leave the thing here, but the moment we leave one of the hostage is going to turn it off and free her. Then she’ll be hot on our heels and us with no getaway car. But if we do take her with us, well it’ll be hard to stuff her into any vehicle we manage to steal...” The leader nodded slowly and then proceeded to say what the others were probably already thinking.

“And the longer we spend standing around trying to figure out what to do the more likely the police are to show up...” He looked around the bank slowly and then his eyes fixated on a perfectly ordinary looking water cooler.

“That thing... do you folks have refills for it?” The bank manager squinted and twisted her head to the side making it clear that she had absolutely no idea why she was being asked such a question.

“Yes, there are a whole bunch of them in the supply closet over there, but it’s locked. The key is....” A short sharp burst of gunfire cut her off as the leader of the bank robbers reached into the hem of his pants, drew forth a very large hand gun and proceeded to turn the door in question into Swiss cheese.

“Not necessary. Now then, you three...” He gestured toward the bank manager and two other hostages. “Go grab one of those things, carry it over to little miss superheroine, get the thing pointed down her throat and then unscrew the cap.” The bank manager and the other employees looked at each other nervously. Not willing to draw the wrath of men who had proved all too willing to use their guns on anyone who tried to interfere with their plans, they slowly got up and shuffled towards the closet.

“Faster. Faster. Faster!” The leader chanted before returning his attention to his own men. “You two get into that vault and start helping yourselves whatever’s fit to steal, but my preference is valuable, small, and light. You two go outside and get us a new vehicle if in fact that disaster on legs destroyed our old one. Once you’re done with that, come back in here and help the others clean out the vault. As for you, help me look over the hostages so that nobody else gets any ideas about playing hero.”

Instantly everyone who had been addressed began to go about their business. Meanwhile Wrecking Ball Girl ceased struggling against the magnets overwhelming pull looking on in bemusement as the trio of coerced hostages brought the large water cooler jug up to her. In the wake of realizing that she was powerless to escape she apparently decided to simply funnel all her effort into behaving like a proper superheroine right down to the banter.

“Oh how nice. You got me a drink so that even if I’m bored out of my wits at least I’m not thirsty.” The lead robber chuckled as he finally took the time to retrieve his discarded rifle and reload it.

“Not really. You ever heard of water intoxication, Bitch? Takes more of it, but enough H2O pumped into a body fast enough will shut it down same way alcohol will. I figure two or three, four at most of those tanks will take care of you, if that big belly doesn’t simply burst wide open beforehand.”

Wrecking Ball Girl’s eyes went wide behind her visor as if she wasn’t sure to believe the villain or not. While being caught by the magnet had made her irritated, this made her afraid. Before she could say anything else the container of water was forced between her lips sported by two of the hostages while the bank manager unscrewed the lid.

It was easy to watch the level of liquid within the clear plastic container slowly dwindle as more and more and more of it flowed into Wrecking Ball Girl’s body with each passing moment. Eventually after tilting the container vertically straight up the last droplet of liquid was gone and the relieved hostages were able to drop the now much lighter container onto the floor where it let out a hollow plastic thud.

As for the water’s new receptacle, Wrecking Ball Girl didn’t look too much worse for wear. Her stomach seemed to have bloated even further out, but given her already larger than life figure the changes seemed to be little more than the proverbial drop in the bucket. She even managed to find the willpower to playfully lick her lips and smack her chops.

“Ahh, nothing like a couple refreshing gulps of water to help take your mind off things! Though I hope you won’t mind if I ask for a chance to use the little superheroine’s room in a couple of minutes...” The leader kept his weapon trained firmly on the mob of hostages he was looking over refusing to even send a glance in his most dangerous captive’s direction.

“Trust me, Girl. A few more of those things and soiling that nice pretty uniform of yours will be the last thing you’ve got to worry about. As for you three hostages don’t just stand around like idiots. Get moving. I want to hear the sound of your ‘savior’ chugging down another of those things in under sixty seconds or else!” The bank manager and the others ran back to the closet. The well dressed woman had tears in her eyes as she approached Wrecking Ball Girl hefting another container of water.

“I’m sorry.” To her surprise she found a smile that was proverbially every bit as wide as the superheroine’s belly gazing back at her in response. Wrecking Ball Girl managed to whisper a few quick words to her before the container was jammed between her lips.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Keep it coming I’ve got a plan!” The bank manager’s eyes went wide with a mixture of confusion, doubt, and just a few shreds of hope as she unscrewed the cap. If indeed Wrecking Ball Girl had a plan at the moment it only seemed to be that she would soon be setting a new definition for just how big the human body (and belly in particular) could become.

As another container full of water poured down her throat this one left its mark much more visibly. Wrecking Ball Girl’s grey outfit was now starting to become noticeably strained. Though it was doubtlessly made of a very stretchy material it could only be pressed so far without objecting.

Also it was almost possible to see little “waves” rolling back and forth inside the belly which had previously been so rock solid. Once all was said and done and that container joined its brother on the floor Wreck Ball Girl let loose with a loud belch.

“Well as bad as that was, folks, it probably would have been a lot worse if this stuff had been carbonated...” Everyone present ignored her quip. By this point the two robbers tasked with emptying the vault now departed from it their outfits stuffed to bulging with various bits of jewelry. Some of it worn about their clothing. Just as they were making their way out, the two who had been tasked with procuring a new vehicle for escape ran back in.

“We’ve managed to hotwire two cars outside, the red and the white one. We’ll have to split up three in each but it should serve....” The leader wordlessly gestured toward the vault without so much as a single word of praise for a job well done. By the time they vanished into it Wrecking Ball Girl was starting to get her third cooler full of water emptied into her.

This one was even more noticeable than the second, her belly now staunchly refusing to grow any larger than it already was seemed to be diverting the water to her arms and legs. These began to puff up which ironically left Wrecking Ball Girl with a more believable figure as her entire body now billowed outward instead of just her midsection.

“More, more...” She pleaded quietly with the bank manager after that particular load of liquid had been delivered. Thus did the two groups continue their strange little race, the robbers to unload enough of the vault’s goods to satisfy themselves and the three hostages to deliver enough water to Wrecking Ball Girl to meet whatever was prompting her strange desire for ridiculous amounts of the stuff.

The fourth container caused the superheroine’s limbs to become so full of water that at first they seemed to be every bit as locked in position as her belly was by the magnet. Not to mention that this made her spiked bracelets pop of from the arms they could no longer properly encircle.

The fifth puffed up her breasts making them practically the size of medicine balls. This caused them to droop noticeably, something they hadn’t been doing before even with all of the iron that had obviously built up around them.

The sixth however chose to make itself at home in her belly just like the first two had. Wrecking Ball Girl’s costume actually split slightly, revealing her now popped out belly button. Even as it did so, however, the superheroine herself seemed to be filled with delight and energy far more than hydrogen oxide. She closed her eyes and then after letting loose with a truly strained grunt of effort managed to take a step away from the magnet.

There was a stunned silence from all of those in the bank as if they had just seen someone walk on water instead of a water filled superheroine manage to take a single step instead. A moment later it seemed as if it would be all for naught as her entire body began to wiggle and ripple back towards the magnet, but before it could once more lock her in place, Wrecking Ball Girl managed to propel her water logged body into the air getting out of the magnet’s line of “fire” to leap up and then come crashing down on top of it a moment later.

The high tech device was reduced to its loose screws, bolts, and twisted metal in the blink of an eye unable to bear up under the assault of the multi-ton superheroine. However Wrecking Ball Girl herself also got more than she bargained for, as when she landed her body’s liquid contents sloshed back and forth like a living waterbed, and she was bounced backwards into the air to slam against a side wall of the bank.

Normally Wrecking Ball Girl probably would have broken right through the concrete barrier. However the considerable amount of water she was carrying not only had comparatively increased her volume far more than her mass, but it also acted as a cushioning force. The fact that the superheroine’s body had gone from being a perfectly sphere (at least where her belly was concerned) to a more ovaloid shape further spread out the energy with which she impacted. So instead of sailing through the wall as she normally would have done, Wrecking Ball Girl instead rebounded off of it to land on her backside bouncing a foot or so into the air a few times before finally coming to a stop.

All of the robbers had been so utterly transfixed by this bizarre sight that they didn’t think to run for the one exit of the bank and instead simply stared with awe. She pushed off the ground (a process that sent waves racing through her arms and legs like they contained some kind of otherworldly rippling serpent), and slowly rose to her feet.

Even then it was hard to call what Wrecking Ball Girl was currently doing “standing” in the usual sense of the phrase. The water in her belly still seemed to be flowing about and its expanse was almost so massive that her gut only just avoided bouncing off the ground with every step forward she took. Her stomach’s fluctuations only got worse when she began to pat it affectionately a large smile on her face.

“Bet you boys are wondering what happened to your little toy. Well guess what? All that water you charitably decided to pump me full of was more than enough to weaken your magnets hold on me so that I could get free for at least a moment, and as it turns out a moment was all I needed. As for why I didn’t give into your precious water intoxication, well evidently you guys should have paid better attention when I talked about how my body tends to survive and thrive even when its play guest to deadly levels of certain substances. So now then, I think the only thing left to do is for me to serve up some extra large helpings of smack down!”

Since her bounces had left the superheroine lying near the bank’s entrance she was quite well positioned to pen the robbers in. As she advanced forward the shadow she cast seemed to completely envelope all the nearby robbers like a portable eclipse. The leader of the robbers would not give up however and so he charged forward towards Wrecking Ball Girl holding his rifle.

“I’ll burst you like a balloon if it’s the last thing I do!” He let loose with another stream of bullets, his hands shaking with rage all the while. The rounds still failed to penetrate Wrecking Ball Girl’s skin but rather than bearing the brunt of their assault stoically, her stomach began to shake itself up and down as if it had a mind of its own.

“Woah! Hey! Steady!” She cried out as she waved her hands about like a tightrope walker who had just been struck by a strong breeze. Comically she tilted back and forth, back and forth until she fell flat on her back. Her first bounce almost lead to her being back on her feet but not quite. Her second left her well short of it. Her third was barely worth noticing, and there was no fourth.

The bloated superheroine lay on her back reaching out for something to help her up. Failing to find it she struggled to roll over so that she could properly bring her hands to bear on the task of lifting her bulk up into the air. She strained and heaved and grunted, but it proved too great a task for her. Eventually she was forced to let loose with another pathetic cry.

“Damn it! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” Once more there was complete silence in the bank, and then the robbers suddenly let out whoops of glee. The leader pointed toward the doors which luckily Wrecking Ball Girl hadn’t quite fallen down directly in front of.

“Stop starring at the fat broad like idiots. We’re already behind schedule. Let’s just get out of here now!” The other robbers nodded letting out cheers as they fled out of the bank. A moment later however the whoops of glee were replaced by groans of disappointment, virulent curses, and a much more high-pitched sound, the sirens of police cars.

The hostages in the bank listened in shock, and then very slowly with the bank manager leading the way they made their way over to their prone protector. It took nearly a dozen of them working together to pull off the feat they finally managed to get Wrecking Ball Girl off her back. Taking her sloshing belly in her hand she blushed and awkwardly turned around.

“Umm... thanks everybody. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go face the music.” She slowly wobbled toward he door to the bank, and discovered to her horror that while her normal girth was enough to make it difficult to fit through everyday doors, her current one was such that even the bank’s double doors proved a deceptively difficult obstacle to maneuver her bulk through.

Eventually irritation at her inability to capture the robbers on her own got the better of her, and she just powered through the problem. As she emerged onto the steps of the bank, a fair amount of the doors frame was still hanging from her costume like a piece of avant-garde art.

“Hi...” She half mumbled to the chief of police who was currently overseeing each of the half a dozen handcuffed robbers being lead into the backseat of a different police car. The grey haired chief turned his gaze from this more or less mundane sight (after all however determined they might have been the robbers had realized that trying to fight it out with over three times as many police officers with their cars for cover could only end one way) to the oversized superheroine and let loose with a low chuckle.

“Nothing personal, but have you put on weight since last time we talked?” Wrecking Ball Girl awkwardly raised up a very plump arm and struggled to get it to bend enough to scratch her head.

“Umm, yeah, I have. But it’s just a temporary thing, retaining water and all that. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to get them myself, but you see they had this magnet, this really big magnet and...” Wrecking Ball Girl was painfully aware of how she probably sounded a child who was willing to cross their heart and swear that they’d completed their homework last night, but it had just ended up being chewed up by their dog and then used as litter box liner by their cat. Luckily the chief of police seemed to be a rather forgiving mood.

“Don’t worry about it. You thought ahead to use the warning beacon built into your visor this time, so I knew to bring plenty of boys along. Of course I’d expected we’d have to have them fix your mess in a more literal sense, so I suppose things could have turned out worse.” Wrecking Ball Girl allowed her hand to hang limp and sighed. Her entire body drooped heavily.

“Well, I sort of just took out the bank doors if you didn’t notice. There’s a couple of cracks inside the bank. The vault’s pretty well wrecked, but that last one was their fault rather than mine! Anyway I’m just gonna be going now, gotta bounce and all that!” She got a “waddling start” before using her super strong legs to propel herself into a nearby alley about half a block over, and luckily by the time she was done with her little “after bounces” she was laying belly down and thus could push herself back onto her feet.

“Ughh... I’m gonna need to figure out a way to dry myself out quickly. Well that or let all my clothes out again and tell people that ‘WBG’ stands for ‘Water Balloon Girl’ from now on. Maybe I should just make sure that my next few meals are extra, extra heavy on fiber? Or maybe if I got enough people to jump up and down on me I’d just spit all the water out? I know, if I could just find some way to heat up all this water enough it would turn into steam! I wonder if there are any tanning salons in town that I could fit into like this...?

AN: I am perfectly aware that filling Wrecking Ball Girl’s belly with water probably wouldn’t have counteracted the magnetic being used to immobilize her. That said however given that she’s a superheroine we’re not talking about everyday science here, instead we’re talking about SCIENCE! by whose rules this particular turn of events makes perfect sense